‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.’Philippians 4:6
‘Be still, and know that I am God.’Psalm 46:10
As a mother, I often feel rushed, as if I don’t have time, time to gather my thoughts, time for myself, time to be still or time to take a deep breathe. It’s the endless things to do, the never ending things to clean, to sort, to fold, etc. The stress then triggers anxiety and it all feels as if I can’t breathe and time continues to move forward.
Aside from my Chiari + Syringomyelia I also have Hypothyroidism. I’ve been taking medication for the Hypothyroidism for a number of years, maybe 10 plus years. However, for the past couple of years it’s become an area of concern – this year having the symptoms worsening. I had decided to tackle my Syringomyelia first before taking on another health challenge – one thing at a time.
I’ve been a ‘responsible’ adult and made my list of things that need to be done to get to the ‘bottom’ of all this. I’ve seen a second opinion with a well known Endocrinologist – check, had my blood tested for him – check, had an ultrasound of my throat – check and finally Wednesday, saw the throat specialist or ENT, also known as the Otolaryngologist – check. As you know with the mountain of paper work that needs to get filled out when it’s the first visit, I listed my medications, surgeries, symptoms, etc. There he noticed one of my symptoms was vertigo and recommend I see a colleague of his to check my ears – sometimes an unknown issue with the ears can cause vertigo and imbalance. I’ve had my ears check before and nothing was found, but I’ll get them checked again – it doesn’t hurt to get a second opinion.
So, the outcome of my visit today with the ENT, I need to get a CT Scan done of my throat because lo and behold, a CT Scan gives better results than an ultrasound! After that, a biopsy, my ultrasound shows thyroid nodules that need to get tested, more than anything he wants to confirm it’s not cancerous either. And then from there he’ll determine and we’ll collectively decide if surgery is an option and or necessary.
Yet, with all of this my heart is still, calm and at peace. May I be numb to surgeries, numb to never ending health issues that arise, so used to taking medication that have been tested to help me feel any sense of ‘normalcy’? Or am I just naive? I’m not sure, maybe it’s a mix of it all.
I do however know that there’s someone ahead of it all, someone who helps me not fear, not worry so much, not feel useless or hopeless, someone who gives me hope and is the one to calm my heart and is my rock as I sit in the doctors office as he reads me the results. He calms my anxiety and helps me stand to face yet another health concern and potential surgery. It is He who gets me through it all, and it is He who doesn’t leave my side.
Today I think of all those whom received unpleasant news yesterday or today, either it’s yourself or someone close to you, I think of you. Please know, you’re not alone, do not fear and know that there is hope during this time.
He is with you helping you be still. And it is He who reminds you that He is God.
Blessing to all.
Photo: Luke Palmer