Release The Pressure

I don’t often watch television, but do have some programs set on the DVR. On some days when the time is just right, I’ll watch something live – today was one of those days. I’ve not only been a little on edge because of last weeks visit to the ENT  but also feel at times overwhelmed, I’m the one people come to for comfort or to be heard – not that it’s a bad thing. My therapist once told me, it’s a good thing to listen to someone speak about their own struggles because at times it can give you a sense of comfort knowing that you are not alone. Can I remind you of the quote, ‘misery loves company’? Yes, sometimes within my own ‘misery,’ I like to find someone else who’s living within the same miserable state. It makes me feel less alone, ultimately, less miserable. It’s helpful! But it can be hard to be present in someones else’s life when I have ongoing health issues – not to mention the biggest one of them all, Chiari. I do it of course! However, I lend an ear out of respect because I’ve been sought after, but would I rather be doing something else, absolutely!

“Do not become the 911 in everybody’s life, just stop and release yourself of the pressure.”

– Steve Harvey

As the little ones took their afternoon nap, today I was able to watch the Steve Harvey Show. He’s funny, he’s witty and one of the few adults with wisdom. Yes, I’m that person that believes age doesn’t always equal wisdom. So, today the topic of ‘releasing the pressure from yourself’ came up. That was music to my ears folks! Yes, yes! Do you have that friend or family member that only calls when they need you, when they need something from you, when they need you to do something for them? Do you feel responsible to help them, to be there for them, to do what they’ve just asked you to do? Yes, I’m there, I have those! So, he was saying to take the pressure off from the need to be there for them. It’s not in a condescending way – no! It’s for yourself, do this for you! ‘You are only responsible for your children. If the person is not your child, then you are not responsible for them and you are welcome to take the pressure off yourself!’ He brought a point we too often forget and a good point at that, ‘if they didn’t have you, what would they do?’ So, he also recommended you stop receiving their calls, because all their calls tend to be for ‘requests’ and if you can, to stop listening to your voicemails, because 95% of the time voicemails are ‘requests’. They will leave that voicemail saying, ‘call me, it’s important.’ I couldn’t help but laugh, because it true! It’s so true! If you’re not laughing, maybe it’s because you’re the other person. Eek! I often think, wait, I need to answer or I need to listen to the voicemail because, what if it’s an emergency?! Here’s what Mr. Harvey said, ‘all emergencies or problems pass within 24 hours’ and encourages that you ‘don’t become the 911 in everybody’s life, just stop and release yourself of the pressure.’ And I think, if it were an actual emergency, they’d be calling 911 – not you.

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One of my children’s movies comes to mind and it says it best, ‘sit down before you hurt yourself!’ We put so much pressure on ourselves to be in everyone else’s lives, we forget to be present in our own. And I am a firm believer on how stress and anxiety can may very well be the culprit of the way you feel, this pressure makes you sick – literally. I don’t know why I needed to hear that today, but I’m so glad I did, some reassurance is good and always welcomed!  It’s good to put me/you first and not feel remorseful for it.

Happy day!

A-

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47 thoughts on “Release The Pressure

      1. If I’m honest, everything needs to be worked in our lives, otherwise I’d get nothing done! 🤣 if there’s something said about a woman, she gets things done! 🙌🏽 A woman is a multi-tasker and no one comes close to her 💛🙏🏽

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      2. Haha! Love it! Laundry is never ending in this home, with six littles, one day without doing laundry means clothes being piled sky high! Yes, thank you. Likewise. 💛 I try not to let everyday tasks overwhelm me – if I get to it, great, if not, there’s always tomorrow. 😊🙏🏽

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      3. yes, housework is never ever done. Now that my kiddos are older everyone has a laundry day. Keeps things from getting overwhelming in the laundry room! and you are right…….if it doesn’t get done it will absolutely positively be there tomorrow.

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  1. Oh yeah, I regularly find myself playing therapist with many of the people in my life. Sometimes I wonder when it’d be appropriate to start charging, lol. I want to be there for people, but some will take advantage for sure.

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      1. If it wouldn’t take forever, I wouldn’t mind going back to school to get my master’s in social work and become a therapist. That might be too much like the blind leading the blind though 😉

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      1. I’ve always found writing to be therapeutic, but was too hesitant to start writing about my journey with Chiari Malformation and Syringomyelia. After years of self doubt, I finally decided to just do it, and here I am! Your blog is truly motivational, you have amazing content, congratulations on that!

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      1. Me too! Even though I’m too exhausted and overwhelmed myself, I always feel a sense of obligation to do what others ask of me. It’s definitely freeing when you find your voice and courage to say, no – not today! 🙏🏽😊

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  2. Thanks for sharing…. pressure can be the cause of many things, create many unnecessary problems… I just live the life given to me by destiny, the rest of the universe has the option of accepting or rejecting… 🙂 as it is said in Aesops fable about the old man, the boy and the donkey; ” if you try to please everyone you will end up pleasing no one”… 🙂

    “ The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses.. No one to lean on, rely on or blame.. The gift is yours, it is an amazing journey, and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” Bob Moawad

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  3. Pressure can be such a dangerous thing. You’ve said it well with “We put so much pressure on ourselves to be in everyone else’s lives, we forget to be present in our own”. Fantastic post! Make sure you re-read this yourself the next time you feel the pressure returning to you can remind yourself to breathe and focus where it counts. Caz xx

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    1. Yessss! Good point – great source to come back to! Why does guilt have to follow when you say no to someone?! It’s your truth isn’t it, why not pride yourself in having courage to stand up for yourself?! 🤦🏽‍♀️ it reminds me of the little fish in the pond. We’re not little, we’re grown and brave enough to say, no – not today. And no need to feel bad about it. 😊🙏🏽

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  4. This is such an important reminder and insight. Someone once told me that I need to learn to separate others’ problems from mine. It can be rewarding to help others but it can be mentally draining and unhealthy if there is no line drawn. Thanks for this great post.

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  5. This was so helpful!! Thank you so much for this post… This is something I feel myself, quite often… I feel more times than less that I am other peoples rocks, and although I love helping people, there are times where I just feel so drained and out of energy. And this is a problem because, although in the beginning you may enjoy helping other people, in the end you begin hating them and blaming asking for too much, when in reality it is YOU who does not set enough boundaries. So yes! This is something I needed to hear.

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it! 💛 It’s definitely become a bit of a burden for me to be honest. People need helping but you have to know when you need it yourself! You can’t exhaust yourself just trying to be ‘there’ when others need you. You need to put your metal health first too, if you’re not in such a good place to help others than it’s best to step back a bit. Because that’s ok too! 🙏🏽💛

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      1. Yesss exactly!! I think that sentence sums it up best: ‘People need helping but you have to know when you need it yourself.’ You have to first take care of yourself before helping others! Great post once again 🙂

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