It’s rather a bit unsettling to think of the need to cut ties with someone. At times they’re friendships or even a family member. As I continue to grow, I’ve realized what I want, what I will accept and will not tolerate in friendships and overall relationships. I believe this to be an internal battle also because I was taught to love thy neighbor, to accept people as they are, and to love in the dimension of the cross. But what happens when others no longer serve a positive purpose in my life, when they no longer lift me, but rather break me. Please, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely believe we will have our moments with others when we will disagree, and we’ll forgive one another and move on. But what if this is recurring and happening constantly?! What if I consider myself a good friend and yet have come to realize a friendship in my life isn’t reciprocating the same level of love and respect for our friendship. You know, that one sided friendship, do you cut ties, do you call it quits or do you continue to accept their behavior?!
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This week I bring you this wonderful post on the matter by the very talented Dr. Perry over at Make It Ultra. He lists a few suggestions he uses in his practice on how to create healthy boundaries with others. He first mentions to be honest with the other person about your feelings, not adding to the negativity and not fearing the loss of a relationship that just feeds you negativity. If you haven’t read the full post, please stop by his blog!
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Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “People inspire you or they drain you. Pick them wisely.” ~Hans F. Hansen We all know at least one person who seems to walk around in a state of doom and gloom. They are in short supply of joy but have an overabundance of negativity. This individual may […]
via How to Set Boundaries with a Toxic Person — MakeItUltra™ Psychology
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You are so correct, cutting ties with people can be difficult but having toxic people in our lives causes more stress and I don’t think either of us need anymore of that! 🙂
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This is always a struggle for me as cutting the cord is just too hard to do. But, it’s so important and necessary. Still learning here….
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Oh I know, I know! It’s tough. What to do when it’s time to let go, when you know in your heart the relationship wasn’t what it used to be and is now toxic? Ugh. But also, loving yourself enough to know what’s best for you, is something that should always come first. Put yourself first and know when something is not worth having in your life. I’m still learning too, I’m also a people pleaser, that’s why I think cutting the cord is extra hard for me.
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It is quite easy to become a toxic person as well. I think those folks’ condition can tend to be contagious when it’s just yourself and that person being together frequently (like the workplace).
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Very true, good point. It’s a good reminder to stay true to yourself and your beliefs.
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Great share. You and your readers, may enjoy this post on friendships and compassion fatigue
https://reallifeofanmsw.com/2016/12/08/4380/
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Thank you for sharing this, Ana! Really helpful.
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Thank you Winnie. These feelings can be hard to admit, as even I don’t like to know it may cause someones feelings to be hurt. However, self love is above anyone else’s feelings.
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This has challenged me too (I’m obviously not alone in it). After fervent prayer and communicating our concerns to the best of out abilities, without sufficient improvement, we alone carry the responsibility for our self care. Sometimes telling someone, “we’re done” feels awful. But once in a while doing so leads the person toward a new awareness and possibly healing. Even if that never happens, Jesus won’t ask us to account for anyone’s choices but our own. Good post!
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I agree! Absolutely, we must love ourselves enough to know when someone isn’t treating us in a loving and respectful manner. We ourselves allow the behavior of another individual towards us, setting boundaries really helps in letting others know you demand respect.
It sure does feel awful especially if you’ve known the other person for a long time and have grown to love them, however your sanity and mental health has to be far greater than keeping someone in your life for the sake of not hurting their feelings. 🙂
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☺
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It can be tough but you end up wasting so much energy for no reward….
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I agree. It’s investing time and energy on some one that no longer values my / our presence in their life. It happens. Not everyone is meant to continue to come with us in our different stages in life. And that is ok.
If they’re not happy and there for us through our trials and tribulations, then it’s time to move on. And there is no need to worry about moving on without them 😊🙏🏽
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Hopefully you’re not tired of me…
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No worries! 🤗 Hope you’re doing well!
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Hope y’all are too!
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Yes, a bit cold, had to dust our jackets off – woke up to a 60 degree weather 😳🤣
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O’muhgoodness.. 60 degrees!! Lol! Winter has arrived lol! 😝😁
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I know, I know, I said the same! Geez! Get the heaters out people! 🥶☃️ 🤣
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Lol!!! I have to tease you! Y’all be careful out there in those subarctic conditions… 😏
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It never fails 😏🤣 We will
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