“Hang In There”

I suspect you already know that with every chronic illness come a few doctors appointments – or many. I had to see my doctor recently as the pain in my neck doesn’t get any better and the medication was running low, so back I went to see my Neurologist. There is a strange thing that happens but with each MRI comes a new result. In reviewing my last MRI on his monitor I noticed a curve on top of my neck in the shape of a letter ‘C’ you could say. But we simply continued talking and moved on. However, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and asked him about it. He said a curve like that is normal say on an 80 year old, but not on someone my age. The two surgeries I’ve had, the first in 2013 and the other on 2017, both have been entered through the back of my neck, so my neck has taken quite a bit. The result, it’s caused the top part of my spine to collapse – hence the letter ‘C’ shape, the other result, pain, the remedy, more medicine. We will try a new medication to manage the pain and come back to revisit the issue. I thanked him for his time and as I’m leaving he says, “hang in there.”

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Those simple words have taken over my mind. How many times does something unprecedented happened? And you, “hang in there” or you have absolutely no choice but to do just that?! Aren’t we all doing just that for different reasons, for the sake of your own sanity, because you’re going through a break up, a job loss, marriage issues, financial issues, whatever the case maybe, you’re “hanging in there.”

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As anger wanted to creep up inside me, I thought of hope. The word hope. The hope that this will continue to help me gain patience for myself and my body, and hope that I will continue to live life, this new life with much gratitude, the life with physical pain, but life nonetheless.

A-

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Mom Life With Chiari

Living with Chiari 1 Malformation and Syringomyelia since 2013.

30 thoughts on ““Hang In There””

  3. I’m so sorry the only thing seem to be more meds to stay on top of yet more pain. You’re right, sometimes the only thing is just ‘hanging in there’. It’s made me think because I sometimes say ‘hang in there’ to people on their blog posts when they’re going through a tough time. I’d like to think that we can do more than ‘hang on’ and ‘hang in there’ in our lives, our ‘new normals’, but sometimes there’s no choice but to cling to what we can and ride it out. xx

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    1. Haha I do the same! The hang in there though is more than what we casually say and it took someone to say it to me that day for it to hit me harder than it should have. Or am I just reading too much into things?! Perhaps. But you’re absolutely right. Oh that ‘new normal.’ I was just saying last night, I don’t know what my body felt like before, now all I feel is pain, it’s pain somewhere in my body, but it’s always pain – physical pain. You know?! There’s never a pain-free day or a day where I can say, yes I’ll do that! Without thinking of what the following days would be like if I did.

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    1. Such a lovely comment. I’m so happy you’ve found something to lift you, even if just a little.
      Likewise, the courage you demonstrate through your words and your sweet boy is unlike any other.
      Yes, I agree, we must all rely on hope. Hugs to you too dear friend. Have a lovely weekend. 😊🙏🏽

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  7. Life is tough ….people may have different reasons but the struggle continues …….. Just remember you are more than what happened to you and your pain does not define you ….. . You are a woman of strength Ana ….may you have a blessed life

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  8. What a traumatic experience you are going through with those pains. As you say, the hope of solving them can condition your treatment mentally so that you can achieve it. At least you have the courage to do it. A hug.

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    1. Yes, we need much courage to get through anything really. And hope, hope that things will either get better, or hope that we may fully accept things for what they are. Thank you so much for lovely comment. I appreciate it. Hugs to you too

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      1. Oh I know, truly I do!! My neck bones were in terrible shape early on. I never knew the direct correlation between the neck and stomach. 🤢 I sometimes struggle to swallow and you know about my crazy thyroid. I have learned the brainsteam and cranial nerves originate very close to the neck and back of head and yes, it’s amazing how much our life is supported by the neck!! I’m praying daily for you dearest friend. I have found EO ‘past tense’ helpful to rub on my neck. It relaxes my muscles. Xoxo🤗🤗🤗

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  12. Ana, with all due respect, I can understand where you’re coming from. Somehow I’ve injured my neck and I’ve been told that I have arthritis in my neck and back. Here lately I’ve been hurting like crazy. I don’t feel 40. I feel older! I’m thinking fibromyalgia but not sure.

    I hate your feeling this and having to go through this. But just know you’re not the only one hurting. We’ll hurt together mi amiga!

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    1. Yes! He mentioned it may cause arthritis. What horrible pain you’re experience! You must get yourself checked, at least to know what you can do to help with the pain.
      Yes, thank you so much. It does help to know we’re not hurting alone – literally. Claro que si! 😌🙏🏽

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  13. oh Ana………I know the “pain” of new findings……….I sent up a prayer of health and healing for you and for a miracle ~ in order for me to get through each day I have to remind myself that miracles still happen.

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