‘I Look To You’

This morning while trying to get somethings done for my social media accounts, I decided to put on some background music. And I decided on this song, ‘I look to you,’ by the late Whitney Houston. I don’t normally work while listening to music, it’s really distracting and I get nothing done. My work area needs to be quiet and in order. But the calling was there, for me to go back to this song, and it lifted me.

I’ve been connecting with others with Chiari and although I’m grateful, it also tends to try to pull me down. On one hand I’m happy there others experiencing what I’m going through, but on the other, it’s incredibly sad to know there are others trying to get through their day with chronic pain.

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I get asked a few questions when someone realizes my diagnosis, and one that always sticks out is, ‘how do you do it?’ I understand because it’s almost dumbfounding to see this mother of six living with chronic pain. And there is no one answer, there is no perfect answer, actually there is no answer other than Him. He gets me out of bed when my body isn’t able to, He reminds me I am loved when I feel I’m a failure, He helps me take the steps when I’m in too much pain to walk, He holds my head when I feel it’s going to explode in pain, He helps me care for my children when I feel too ill, He reminds me to take my medication because He knows how much I dislike them, it’s Him, that’s how I do it – daily.

If you’ve never heard this song – or haven’t heard it in a while, I invite you to listen. It’s an amazing song, full of hope, because what you’re going through today you will get through by looking up to Him.

My favorite verse in the song, ‘After all my strength is gone, In you I can be strong.’ 

I Look to You
As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I’m lost without a cause
After giving it my all
Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun
After all that I’ve been through
Who on earth can I turn to
I look to you
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong
I look to you
I look to you
Yeah
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song
I look to you
After losing my breath
There’s no more fighting left
Sinking to rise no more
Searching for that open door
And every road that I’ve taken
Led to my regret
And I don’t know if I’m gonna make it
Nothing to do but lift my head
I look to you
I look to you
Yeah
And when all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong
I look to you
I look to you
Oh yeah
And when melodies are gone
In you…

A-

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Mom Life With Chiari

Living with Chiari 1 Malformation and Syringomyelia since 2013.

28 thoughts on “‘I Look To You’”

    1. Yes, beautiful song indeed. Ugh! I agree. We all handle our struggles, depression and sadness in different ways. It’s a shame mental health isn’t taken as serious as it should. And therapy is often frowned upon. I sought therapy and it truly helps to cope.

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      3. I can very much relate to that. By the way, I am able to cry again…..the emotional numbness from May/June has worn off and now the tears are coming. I think it’s progress!🙂🙌

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      4. That’s great! It’s hard and we tend to be stubborn at times, thinking we need to suppress our feelings. But it’s so important to be present with how we feel at the moment, if you need to cry, cry, if you need to rest, rest, there’s absolutely no shame in sleeping and doing nothing when dealing with chronic pain.

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      3. Yes, after awhile the medication doesn’t work so good due to drug resistance from our bodies, so it’s necessary to increase after awhile. I actually use a combination of 3 medications now. Works okay, but not completely. But trying something stronger had a negative effect on me so I don’t want to do that again.

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      4. Yes, makes total sense. They’ve increased my meds a few times. This last time the doctor increased one for the second time and were combining it with another. The two work good together. BUT, it knocks me to sleep! So, around that 3pm mark, I’m just about ready to fall asleep standing! 😂 They work all right, too well!

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