Reblog Wednesday: How to Set Boundaries with a Toxic Person — MakeItUltra™ Psychology

It’s rather a bit unsettling to think of the need to cut ties with someone. At times they’re friendships or even a family member. As I continue to grow, I’ve realized what I want, what I will accept and will not tolerate in friendships and overall relationships. I believe this to be an internal battle also because I was taught to love thy neighbor, to accept people as they are, and to love in the dimension of the cross. But what happens when others no longer serve a positive purpose in my life, when they no longer lift me, but rather break me. Please, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely believe we will have our moments with others when we will disagree, and we’ll forgive one another and move on. But what if this is recurring and happening constantly?! What if I consider myself a good friend and yet have come to realize a friendship in my life isn’t reciprocating the same level of love and respect for our friendship. You know, that one sided friendship, do you cut ties, do you call it quits or do you continue to accept their behavior?!

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This week I bring you this wonderful post on the matter by the very talented Dr. Perry over at Make It Ultra. He lists a few suggestions he uses in his practice on how to create healthy boundaries with others. He first mentions to be honest with the other person about your feelings, not adding to the negativity and not fearing the loss of a relationship that just feeds you negativity. If you haven’t read the full post, please stop by his blog!

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Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “People inspire you or they drain you. Pick them wisely.” ~Hans F. Hansen We all know at least one person who seems to walk around in a state of doom and gloom. They are in short supply of joy but have an overabundance of negativity. This individual may […]

via How to Set Boundaries with a Toxic Person — MakeItUltra™ Psychology

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Reblog Wednesday: The Seven Magic Tricks of Blogging — The Art of Blogging

This week I wanted to share with you this interesting post from The Art of Blogging. He offers here great tricks and tips in blogging. It all seems easy right?! Well, not for many – including myself. The world of blogging can be intimidating and complex if not done properly. So, here are some tricks he uses on captivating your audience from the start and keeping them engaged.

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As for myself, I’ve only been blogging for a little over a year, and I must say, authenticity and communication with your followers is key. As the post states, know who you are, know your followers so that you know what they want. Also, when you know who you are, you are relatable and that is something everyone can appreciate.

What are some blogging tricks or tips you can offer to a new blogger? Please share!

Happy Wednesday!

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Magicians are skilled manipulators of perception. They can make people think something is moving when it isn’t or see things that aren’t there. Diverting attention this way and that, they can hide cards and rabbits or make objects appear from thin air. Blogging is a little bit like that, depending on who writes it. Diverting […]

via The Seven Magic Tricks of Blogging — The Art of Blogging

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Actress Selma Blair And Her MS Diagnosis

If there’s one thing I enjoy doing, is watching early morning TV while sipping on coffee. The older children have gone off to school and my littlest babies are still in bed asleep. This morning was the same, only today, an interview with actress Selma Blair with host Robin Roberts resonated with me.

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In this interview actress Selma Blair shares her journey of living with MS – Multiple Scoliosis, a disease in which the immune system eats away the protective covering of the nerves. It can affect the brain, spinal cord and the optic nerves in your eyes. Aside from causing problems with vision, it affects your balance and muscle control, just to name a few. She has the most aggressive form of MS, and it has now affected her speech, as you’ll notice in her interview – spasmodic dysphonia, as well has her walking, which she now relies on a cane for assistance.

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Once again I saw yet another disease trying to strip away the life of a woman and first and foremost a mother. I can relate to her, as I myself am living with Chiari Malformation. It makes you forget all that you knew, the life you knew and emerges you in a new life that is so foreign it may as well bring you to your knees. At times not even knowing what hurts more, as it becomes nearly impossible to vocalize what is wrong and what one is psychically feeling.

In this interview actress Selma Blair mentions …

an experience while having to take her son to school about a mile away, when returning home, having to pull over mid way to take a nap. I can’t take my kids to school, physically my driving is limited, and when I do, it must be close to home. And I understand the need, that dire need to nap. It’s an overwhelming feeling, it takes over your body and mind, and you absolutely have to lie down – ASAP, and sleep.

shame, shame that comes with having chronic pain and a disease that inevitably prevents you from being the mother you desire to be. And all you can do is what you can, to the best of your ability.

telling her son. She mentions that it wasn’t at all difficult sharing her diagnosis with her son. And I agree! Telling the children is so important. In my case, we’ve been open with the children, from why mommy needs quiet, why mommy needs to sleep, to why mommy needs to visit the doctor and why mommy needs to do an MRI. It is paramount to keep the children in the loop!

‘what gets you through those difficult days?’ … she gets in bed and doesn’t move. You just can’t do it all and it’s fine to feel crappy. Her son gets it and she has learned not to feel guilty. This is such an important message. A message to all those parents, that feel the need to play a role they can no longer play, the one where they can do it all, without the need of a break. When you’ve been diagnosed with something like MS or Chiari Malformation, you will have those days where you can’t move, where you get stopped in your tracks and can no longer move. Don’t do more than what your body can handle, put the guilt aside and live your truth. As she said, ‘it’s fine to feel crappy.’

If you haven’t seen the interview, I encourage you to do so, spreading awareness is essential as it motivates others to come out of the shadows and not feel ashamed or alone. When you voice your experience, you not only give a face to the illness, but you help others that are going through the same.

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Reblog Wednesday: Awkward Silence — I refuse to give up

Today I want to share a lovely short story by Sakshi – a wonderful blogger over at I Refuse To Give Up. This is her first short story and by all means, she did not disappoint. I don’t want to give too much away, but have you been in love, and have thought, this is a forever. Have you been with someone that you thought, or didn’t ever imagined being separated, breaking up because it was that good. Or made promises to one another that included perhaps growing old?! However, no love nor promises were strong enough to withstand the test of time, and eventually the relationship was reduced to mere memories. Yes, this is that short story.

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Have you been there, where a love couldn’t be because of life’s circumstances, does it still sting, does it take you back to a place and time? Because it did for me. It was a young love, made so many promises to fill the heart only to have it broken as time doesn’t stand still for anyone and life took a turn for the both of us. And like the short story, college was the changing point, and all that happened after has been written in history and today we both have spouses and children.

Love, so easy and complex at times. Do you believe in true love, do you believe in falling in love more than once in a lifetime? I’d love to know.

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Sam and Sasha were college sweethearts, the kind of people who give others relationship goals, the perfect example of friends and lovers. Their story it seemed was straight out of a clichéd romantic novel. But as college got over, life happened. They moved to different parts of the world in quest of their individual dreams, […]

via Awkward silence — I refuse to give up

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Reblog Wednesday: I Asked God: A Facebook Post From A Friend — Something to Stu Over

This post for ‘Reblog Wednesday’ couldn’t have come at a better time. The thoughts of wanting to feel better physically are reoccurring thoughts, coming in too often throughout my day. And the fact that I can’t change my circumstance or diagnosis is evident in this post and is the perfect reminder of things I conveniently choose to forget. This ‘Reblog Wednesday’ is from a blogger I hold dear and near to my heart, Stuarthis honesty, love for Christ and life, is what I appreciate from reading his work. I couldn’t appreciate him more than I already do.

This post unraveled the truths of my reality. I can either learn to accept my reality or continue to live in the falsehood of reminiscing of what my life once was – life without the prescription medication and physical pain. It’s up to me. If I can only touch ground, ‘come back to Earth,’ as they say, and stop living in the clouds, I’d be able to open my eyes to see my life as it is. And perhaps only then will my sense of purpose fuel my desire to live a more happy and fulfilled life.

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The conversation with God in the post reminded me of my own conversations with God.

I  want to tell God what to fix in my life …

my diagnosis – fix it, reverse it,

my physical pain – take it away,

my old, ‘normal self’ – bring her back,

my finances – increase it,

my brain / head – make it stop spinning,

my son’s autism diagnosis – make it better,

my happiness – give me more of it.

And all the while, I’ve been praying for what I cannot change. He’s saying surrender, trust me, leave it to me as I do all things for a reason – beyond your humble comprehension. The reasons for it, all will be revealed in due time – patience. And love, love is what I need, it’s what I should be praying more for, so that I may accept my diagnosis with love, accept things that I will not be able to change.

The trials and tribulations are only there to get me away from worldly things and closer to Him.

Have a blessed day.

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I asked God to take away my habit. God said, No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up. I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said, No.. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary. I asked God to grant me patience. God […]

via I Asked God: A Facebook Post From A Friend — Something to Stu Over

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Reblog Wednesday: Fail and keep failing — Cristian Mihai

If there’s anything that can be discouraging, is trying to achieve something and getting nowhere with it. That idea you had, maybe you have never gone anywhere with it because of fear, fear of failure, or even fear of success. Whatever it is, this post here by Cristian Mihai is very encouraging and highlights a few truths on our idea of failure. Maybe you grew up with very little – like me, and think this is what your life is suppose to be, you were born poor and you will remain poor. If this is the way you’re thinking, then yes, you will remain poor. However, this doesn’t have to be, this doesn’t have to be your life, your destiny. You can change it. And I’ll share this video with you from Dan Peña going a little more in depth on parents and what most people grew up seeing. You know, the parents working and living pay check to pay check, because that’s what most of us grew up looking at. We’re creatures of habit, and the difference between the rich and the poor is habit, as Dan Lok states.

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Cristian also highlights, with hard work and a change of mind frame. You can change the way you think and work hard. You also don’t need to be ultra smart, fancy, and good looking to make it. Anyone can make it. Anyone. However, it’s completely on you whether or not you believe you can, that makes all the difference.

A few of the motivational speakers I listen to and watch on YouTube on entrepreneurship, sales and money, etc. are Dan Lok, Grant Cardone and Dan Peña – feel free to look at other of their videos. If you have no idea who these men are, these videos will give you a glimpse and general idea of what their channel is all about. I will give you a heads up, these are very straight forward, no ‘bs’ speaking men – especially Dan Peña. They speak and tell it like it is, cursing and all, however they will tell you the truth on why you don’t have money and continue to live pay check to pay check. If you appreciate the truth or not, they are speaking on experience and how they got to where they’re at now. Enjoy!

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“The secret of life…is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” – Paulo Coelho The bitter truth is that no one who’s good at something knows much about why they’re good. The secret got lost after thousands and thousands of failures. The thing is, they subconsciously know it’s simple: you fail and […]

via Fail and keep failing — Cristian Mihai

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Are You a Good Friend to Yourself? — MakeItUltra™ Psychology

This post I share with you today comes from Dr. Perry and it speaks on how loving yourself serves as a platform, sets the tone, as to how your friends will value your friendship in their lives. As I continue to grow older, I contemplate many times on the importance of self love and friendships. I also have come to understand that some friendships are not meant to remain in your life forever. This has even more truth when you live with Chiari Malformation + Syringomyelia, chronic pain is not for the faint of heart. And fortunately or not, you realize even more so when is the time to put an end on friendships that no longer serve well to your health and to your life in general. You know the friendships that bring on more stress than they do joy – those ‘friendships.’

I’ve realized that loving me, putting my feelings first, being compassionate for my own being, is far more important than any outside friendship. Because when you love yourself and know the value you bring as a friend when others don’t, I think that’s when it’s time to call it quits to a friendship that no longer brings positivity to your life and family. There will be a mourning period, but I simply wish them well and move on.

In this post here Dr. Perry, highlights the love and sympathy you should have for yourself, and asks, what kind of friend are you being to yourself? I think first and foremost be a friend to yourself to then know what to look for in friendships.

Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “A friend is a gift you give yourself.” ~Robert Louis Stevenson What kind of friend are you? Are you attentive, kind and compassionate or, are you neglectful, uncaring and critical? Scrolling through quotes on the internet, I was reminded of the immense value we place on friendship. […]

via Are You a Good Friend to Yourself? — MakeItUltra™ Psychology

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