Are You a Good Friend to Yourself? — MakeItUltra™ Psychology

This post I share with you today comes from Dr. Perry and it speaks on how loving yourself serves as a platform, sets the tone, as to how your friends will value your friendship in their lives. As I continue to grow older, I contemplate many times on the importance of self love and friendships. I also have come to understand that some friendships are not meant to remain in your life forever. This has even more truth when you live with Chiari Malformation + Syringomyelia, chronic pain is not for the faint of heart. And fortunately or not, you realize even more so when is the time to put an end on friendships that no longer serve well to your health and to your life in general. You know the friendships that bring on more stress than they do joy – those ‘friendships.’

I’ve realized that loving me, putting my feelings first, being compassionate for my own being, is far more important than any outside friendship. Because when you love yourself and know the value you bring as a friend when others don’t, I think that’s when it’s time to call it quits to a friendship that no longer brings positivity to your life and family. There will be a mourning period, but I simply wish them well and move on.

In this post here Dr. Perry, highlights the love and sympathy you should have for yourself, and asks, what kind of friend are you being to yourself? I think first and foremost be a friend to yourself to then know what to look for in friendships.

Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “A friend is a gift you give yourself.” ~Robert Louis Stevenson What kind of friend are you? Are you attentive, kind and compassionate or, are you neglectful, uncaring and critical? Scrolling through quotes on the internet, I was reminded of the immense value we place on friendship. […]

via Are You a Good Friend to Yourself? — MakeItUltra™ Psychology

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Reblog Wednesday: Reaching the top of the mountain… — Cristian Mihai

Reblog Wednesday: Reaching the top of the mountain… — Cristian Mihai

If you haven’t visited Cristian’s blog, I encourage you to do so. I wanted to share this one here with you.

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This post here in was full of truth. I’ve always thought that often times, I am my own worst critic. I live with chronic pain which in return is followed by self-doubt. I try not to blame others for my physical pain and diagnosis, you know, answer with an attitude or be harsh, after all it’s no one’s fault as to what I’m feeling. I’ve also seen that when I want to start something new, have an idea for something, I am quick to have reasons as to why I can’t do it – before it even begins. I begin to write up a list in my mind as to why I can’t reach things, won’t achieve them and in turn my ideas go to waste, the opportunity slips away. This mountain that is often full of pain and anger, it’s full of negativity, of self doubt and unaccomplished things. Maybe it’s due to my diagnosis, or my son’s autism diagnosis or just a combination of many things. Nonetheless, this is the mountain that I always try to move for myself – daily. It has to be done, otherwise, this mountain can turn into depression, anxiety, and instead of climbing it, I can fall from it. This is a mountain that often goes unseen by others, but that I feel deep in my soul.

Fortunately, with age comes wisdom, faith and hope. The wisdom to know when I need to stop the negative thinking, the faith of knowing that all things can be done through Him, and the hope of knowing that there will always be light, as long as I’m willing to see it.

Do you have mountains, how do you move them?

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“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” – Muhammad Ali Ever felt like a failure? Worthless? Lonely being redemption, broken beyond repair. A waste of time? Ever felt that it just doesn’t matter? Ever felt like you couldn’t do something because it was too difficult? […]

via Reaching the top of the mountain… — Cristian Mihai

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Photo: Lucas Clara

Reblog Wednesday: QUOTE OF THE DAY #111 — The Motivational Blog

Have you been to The Motivational Blog – you must! It’s so inspirational and as he so well titled it, a motivational blog. His posts inspires and allows for some great thinking stimulation. This particular quote that he posted, touched this mother’s heart. As someone living with chronic pain it’s almost inevitable not to compare myself to other mothers. I can be anywhere, may it be at my little ones school, at church, on a family outing, etc. I see mother’s that seem to be having it all together. So well put together from their hair, clothes, like they slept a full 8 hours, freshly bathed and ready to go! I imagine even just having had a nice hot breakfast too. That was me, maybe 5 kids ago!

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This mama today, though this year I have my oldest four in school – thank you Jesus, I’m still home with two kids. So, although the house is a bit quieter for a few hours, things still need to get done – slowly but surely, but I do not look as put together as these other moms. If I’m blessed, I’ll probably reheat my morning coffee four times before I give up and dump it, shower in middle of afternoon naps, with the door open because in my head, someone will come in and rob the house – I know, I’m dramatic that way! I get by to say the least. However, in the midst of it all, my own self doubt, self loathing, lack of motivation and self confidence, this quote is such a loving reminder. You truly do not need to be anyone else, you don’t need anyone to validate you, validate you as a woman, as a mother, as a business woman, as an employee, you don’t need anyone to hold your hand, you don’t need anyone to love you, because you can do all that on your own! I’m in my mid-30’s now and I can say that in my youth, I tried to love someone so much, I tried so hard to hang on, tried so hard to impress and at the end, there was nothing in the world that would have stopped him from leaving. So, before you go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket or put your whole heart into someone, love yourself first.

Look for a partner that will complement you –

not complete you.

You are complete on your own! Be aware of lies, if you don’t believe in who you are, others will know that and will try to take advantage of your trust.

They say the older you get, the wiser you are, however if you know that there is no one more important than you, you will stop living for others and begin to live your best life today – no need to grow old to figure this out! If we should learn anything from our elders, is that they learned to give a hoot about what others think of them. They are experiencing true freedom, I hope you experience your freedom too.

Happy Wednesday.

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Photo Courtesy – google.com

via QUOTE OF THE DAY #111 — The Motivational Blog

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Patience – ‘Three Days Three Quotes’ Nomination Day 3

The last day for ‘Three Days Three Quotes,’ thanks again to the wonderful blogger over at Reveuse.

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AND don’t forget to visit my nominees ….

To you three ladies, I’ve followed you three amazing women since day one of my blogging journey and have – and continue, to learn so much from you! I see your strength and vulnerability shine through in each one of your writings! Please know that you are loved, appreciated, that I admire you and continue to enjoy following your journeys!

HERE ARE THE RULES:

Thank the person who nominated you.

Post a quote for 3 days andexplain why it appeals to you.

Nominate bloggers each day!

MY THIRD QUOTE:

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet” Aristotle

I was so intrigued to find the proper definition for patience, that I Googled it. Patience is ‘the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.’

If you’ve followed my journey you know that I have chronic pain, not from time to time, not every other day, but daily. D-a-i-l-y. I like to say, I don’t have ‘good’ days,’ I have bad days and I have even worse days. And I’ll be transparent and allow my feelings to be shown through your screen. It’s my reality, anyone living with a chronic illness knows that we have to practice patience every single day. And I’m not talking about having patience for your spouse, children, co-workers, family, etc. no! You see, we have to be patient with ourselves, be loving to myself, my body and mind, not to get upset or angry as that can trigger other symptoms like the infamous frustration, that can ultimately make things much worse.

I am my worst enemy. I beat myself up for not being a ‘normal’ woman – because who wakes up daily with pain?! I beat myself up for not being able to stand for long periods of time – because my legs get so weak I’m a risk of falling. I beat myself up for allowing the everyday things ‘bother’ me – you see I am sensitive to noise, light, you know the sun is the worst for me, yes, how do shut off the world in order for me to feel ‘good.’ I beat myself up for not being able to meet others expectations – they’re just too high for me to meet. I beat myself up for not being able to get in the car for long periods of time – you see with Chiari Malformation + Syringomyelia I get nauseated in the car when riding for too long and require I keep medication on hand and bags in the car in case the need arises to regurgitate, Disney trips are as daunting as they are lovely for the children. I beat myself up for having anxiety – you see I can’t have last minute invites, last minute guests in my home, etc. my anxiety will go through the roof, I can’t do things on a ‘whim,’ I can’t do things like the ‘average’ woman can, like go to the grocery store without feeling pain run through my body, I can’t get last minute notices from my children’s teachers for a school event, my agoraphobia will prevent me from being present.

I need to have patience with myself, patience to love myself as I am and not want to change a thing about me, pain and all. I remind myself that I am me and there’s no one quite like me. I am beautifully made by the most high that has made me in His image. I am here to live with Chiari for reasons I am too stubborn to understand. I am doing the best that I can and I am as best of a mother as I can be. As this wonderful quote says, ‘patience is bitter, but it’s fruit is sweet.’ Yes! It’s so bitter, it’s harsh, it’s a pill too hard to swallow at times, it’s a tough reality too many times hard to accept, to face, to know! To know it’s there staring back at me …

Yet, yet! It’s fruit, it’s a message, it’s an everyday motivation to keep going, to keep walking, to stand on my weakest days, this makes patience so sweet! It’s as sweet as they come, to be taught to have patience from such a horrible illness is the sweet reminder of the strength that lies within me.

NOMINATIONS:

1. Magic In The Everyday

2. Simply Chronically Ill

3. Discovering Your Happiness

If you’ve missed any of the other two days of the quote challenge, you can read Appreciate Life Day 1 and Forgiveness + Hope Day 2.

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Hope you all enjoy doing this unique challenge and I look forward to reading the quotes you’ve chosen!

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