Reblog Wednesday: A Six-Word Story — HappymessHappiness

There have been times when I’ve felt unworthy, unworthy of love – of being loved, unworthy of blessings, of happiness, simply unworthy. And then things happen, time passes and I realize that I too deserve happiness, I too deserve blessings on blessings. I remember that there is no perfect being walking on this earth and that I try. I try my best as a mother, wife, sister and daughter, and that I strive. I strive to be better and do better than I did yesterday. As this lovely post by Happymess Happiness so perfectly in just but a few words put it – ‘Even broken things can be loved.’ Indeed.

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So, if you feel defeated, lonely, unhappy, grieving, in pain – broken, just know that you too can be loved, broken and all.

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Even broken things can be loved.

via A Six-Word Story — HappymessHappiness

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Reblog Wednesday: QUOTE OF THE DAY #111 — The Motivational Blog

Have you been to The Motivational Blog – you must! It’s so inspirational and as he so well titled it, a motivational blog. His posts inspires and allows for some great thinking stimulation. This particular quote that he posted, touched this mother’s heart. As someone living with chronic pain it’s almost inevitable not to compare myself to other mothers. I can be anywhere, may it be at my little ones school, at church, on a family outing, etc. I see mother’s that seem to be having it all together. So well put together from their hair, clothes, like they slept a full 8 hours, freshly bathed and ready to go! I imagine even just having had a nice hot breakfast too. That was me, maybe 5 kids ago!

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This mama today, though this year I have my oldest four in school – thank you Jesus, I’m still home with two kids. So, although the house is a bit quieter for a few hours, things still need to get done – slowly but surely, but I do not look as put together as these other moms. If I’m blessed, I’ll probably reheat my morning coffee four times before I give up and dump it, shower in middle of afternoon naps, with the door open because in my head, someone will come in and rob the house – I know, I’m dramatic that way! I get by to say the least. However, in the midst of it all, my own self doubt, self loathing, lack of motivation and self confidence, this quote is such a loving reminder. You truly do not need to be anyone else, you don’t need anyone to validate you, validate you as a woman, as a mother, as a business woman, as an employee, you don’t need anyone to hold your hand, you don’t need anyone to love you, because you can do all that on your own! I’m in my mid-30’s now and I can say that in my youth, I tried to love someone so much, I tried so hard to hang on, tried so hard to impress and at the end, there was nothing in the world that would have stopped him from leaving. So, before you go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket or put your whole heart into someone, love yourself first.

Look for a partner that will complement you –

not complete you.

You are complete on your own! Be aware of lies, if you don’t believe in who you are, others will know that and will try to take advantage of your trust.

They say the older you get, the wiser you are, however if you know that there is no one more important than you, you will stop living for others and begin to live your best life today – no need to grow old to figure this out! If we should learn anything from our elders, is that they learned to give a hoot about what others think of them. They are experiencing true freedom, I hope you experience your freedom too.

Happy Wednesday.

A-

Photo Courtesy – google.com

via QUOTE OF THE DAY #111 — The Motivational Blog

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Reblog Wednesday: Lost on You — Weeping Pines

Oh love! So wonderful yet so complicated. It can make you feel complete as it can also make you feel lost. Do you know about that kind of love?! That love that’s gained, a love loss, a love that was never realized, that kind of love? Do you know about the love that comes along with many other things, whether that is a happy ending or one that ultimately broke your heart, whether you agreed to move on and away or you were the one let go – it’s all part of love and life. Have you experienced this type of love? I have, maybe you have too. Maybe we all will at one point or another in our lives.

On that note, today I share with you this wonderful piece by Weeping Pines. I found it to be gut wrenching, heart breaking yet so honest and true. As the words describe so vividly the consequences of loving so hard and having to let go.

Happy Wednesday!

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Move on, chanted a friend. Holding on will only send you packing into the doldrums, sneered another. Honestly, you don’t wish to move on and are happy being unhappy, reproached a third. Mridul knew they meant well; they wanted him to clamber up the wells of despondency, to let go and move on. But how could […]

via Lost on You — Weeping Pines

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Reblog Wednesday: Dear brother… — My Li’l Place

This poem, written by My Li’l Place just moved my heart, to say the least. It describes the love of one sibling to another. I took so many things from it, for what it may seem like a simple poem, it took me back to my younger years. I’m one of three, we grew up quickly, took on adult responsibilities at a young age. The oldest being my brother, he took care of us younger ones like only a loving brother would do. He wouldn’t complain nor whine, he just did what needed to be done. Do you have that sibling, perhaps cousin, that means the world to you?! I would only hope we all have that special person that helped mold us into who we are today.

We are all adults now, he’s a missionary for the church with his family of 7 in Minnesota while the rest of us have remained in Florida. No matter the miles, the distance between us I’m so grateful for his prayers for me, for my health, my family and my little ones.

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My Li’l Place thank you again for sharing such a lovely poem.

Have a great Wednesday!

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The room is now empty, the bed half made An empty shampoo bottle lies forlorn on the floor The gray ottoman returned to its quiet empty corner Where your black luggage had recently sat in a bloated slump, half unzipped

via Dear brother… — My Li’l Place

Surgery – Faith Over Fear

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Surgery he said. Another surgery – I need a minute.

The preparing, the mental preparation, the anticipation and the recovery. One can never be used to surgery – I can never get used to surgery, one can never feel at ease knowing they’ll be seeing yet another surgeon or specialist, one can never be used to going into that doctors office and explain what’s wrong. You can definitely can never get used to being seen, most of the time half naked, being written on, poked on, needles ready and all eyes focused on you. They’re ready to see you break down, they’re ready to comfort you and they want to see your reaction. One can never be ready to be told, “it’s time” and have a team of unknown medical professionals wheel you in the operating room. The operating room, such a cold place – why’s it so cold, so unwelcoming, full of devices, beeping sounds all around, people with masks trying to make you feel comfortable, but how?! How do you feel comfortable, it’s cold and it’s the unknown – all over again. It’s happening all over again.

The surgeon called me last week and said, “results came in, good news, it’s benign, but it needs to be removed, when’s surgery good for you?” Once again, I felt alone, cold and afraid of the unknown, but why, I’ve been down this road countless times – too many to count. Either that or I’m just embarrassed to write the number down. In my short years, I’ve met my share of doctors, surgeons, nurses, hospital rooms and operating rooms. I’ve felt my share of needles, had my blood drawn plenty of times but am still uncomfortable. The hospitals make me feel uncomfortable, but it’s during these times when you leave it all in His hands and allow it all to be left up to the doctors. No matter how many times I’ve been down this road, I can never get used it.

Faith over fear knowing that my heart and soul will be at peace knowing that this is my journey. My journey, my story to. There’s no one stronger than you, no one with unique health circumstances.

This makes you special – I am special because I am 1 in 1,000 due to Chiari and it reminds me to slow down and live at the moment.

Have a wonderful night.

A-

The Liebster Award

I can not be anymore excited about this … I was nominated for the Liebster Award by the amazing writer/blogger over at Reveuse!!!! Mahee please know I can not thank you enough for thinking about this little blog that could. I’m both humbled and thankful for this nomination. Your writing is both lovely as it is uplifting and I hope that you continue to inspire others the way you inspire me.

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About the Award

The Liebster is an award given to new and upcoming blogs, as nominated by fellow bloggers, in order to give exposure and foster a community of recognition and appreciation. The award was first implemented in 2011, and has been in place each year since.

The official rules for 2018 are as follows, and can be found in entirety on the blog The Global Aussie, at https://theglobalaussie.com/liebster-award-2018/

Rules — Overviews

⇒ Link to official rules blog post in your Liebster Award blog post
⇒ Answer the questions given to you (11)
⇒ Create more questions for your nominees to answer (11)
⇒ Comment on the official rules blog post with a link DIRECTLY to your Liebster Award nomination post.
⇒ Entries start 1st of Jan 2018 and ends on the 25th Dec 2018. The winner will be picked on the 31st of December.

Rules 

• Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.

• Answer the questions you were asked.

• Share 10 random facts about yourself.

• Nominate at least 3 blogs for the award.

• Ask your nominees 10 questions and inform them of the nomination.


Facts About Me

1. I love to bake – anything from birthday cakes to cupcakes to brownies to chocolate chip / sugar cookies to flan and I also love to try new recipes – however, I will not eat my own baking creations

2. I need like to be in control 

3. I’m impatient with people that talk in circles ultimately wanting to feed me BS – honesty is key

4. I’m a stickler with time and appreciate people that arrive on time

5. I love to laugh! And appreciate good mom jokes 🙂

6. Would choose white chocolate over any other candy – is chocolate considered candy?!

7. I love a good sale!

8. My favorite color is money green … just kidding no I’m not just green!

9. Obsessed with Disney movies and can watch them on repeat without a problem … did I mention I have little ones 🙂

10. I DO NOT, I mean DO NOT like scary movies such as the Shining or movies with underwater scenes such as Jaws. I love a good funny movie such as The Hangover

Questions and My Answers 

1. Why did you start writing your blog? After going back and forth for a few years out of fear of the unknown but passionate about my own journey with Chiari 1 Malformation + Syringomyelia, I finally did it! I want to raise awareness on Chiari and only hope to connect with others living with the same illness.  

2. Do you believe in God? Yes – He’s the reason I’m here today! Yes I am weak, I have my moments where I doubt His presence in my life because of what I live with, however as today’s gospel from Matthew 28:16-20 said, ‘I am with you always, to the very end of age.’ No, I didn’t know that by heart, I had to go back and get that for you!  🙂   I underwent very risky and life changing surgeries that could have put me six feet under. I am positive I am here for a reason(s), why, I can’t quite put my finger on that but I can only hope to be humble enough to understand why one day. 

3. What’s your favorite cuisine? Thai

4. Sunrise or Sunset? Sunset 

5. Which was the happiest moment in your life? I’ll choose moments – my little one’s births. No book, no movie, not listening to others experiences, absolutely nothing can prepare you for the birth of your child. I’ve had them via cesarean  and that first cry, that first meeting between baby and mother is breath taking. I have no words and can only pray you experience it for yourself. 

6. Define yourself in one word. Dreamer 

7. What’s your favorite book? The one book that I can remember that had me wanting to read it again, is The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. I read it when I was young and I was immediately drawn to it. 

8. What’s your favorite quote? ‘You’ve got to put your past behind you’ – Timon, The Lion King. So simple, yet it’s better said than done. If achieved though, I believe it can really be the only freeing thing you can do for yourself. 

9. If you are given 10000000 cash what would you do? Cash, wow, not even a check?! Nice! Ha! OK, I’d buy that purse I’ve been eyeing, travel and eat yummy food

10. What’s the thing that you hate the most? People that complain! And whine!

11. What’s the best quality that you see in your best friend? Please don’t feel bad or sorry or anything remotely close to that, but I do not have a ‘best friend.’ Maybe I used to, say in high school, not sure. But I believe people come and go from your life for many different reasons, so to give someone a title like ‘best friend,’ personally is setting too high of expectations on one being and ultimately resulting in me being disappointed. However, a quality(s) I best admire in friends are honesty, faithful/trusting and dependability.  

Questions 

 1. Why did you start writing your blog?

2. Do you believe in God?

3. What’s your favorite cusine?

4. Sunrise or Sunset?

5. Which was the happiest moment in your life?

6. Define yourself in one word.

7. What’s your favorite book?

8. What’s your favorite quote?

9. If you are given 10000000 cash what would you do?

10. What’s the thing that you hate the most?

11. What’s the best quality that you see in your best friend?

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My Nominees 

1. Magic In The Everyday

2.Simply Chronically Ill

3. My Li’l Place

Nominees, I appreciate your love for writing and continue to admire it in every one of your posts. Enjoy!

A-

Love, Life + Chiari

Love, Life + Chiari

It’s a bit ironic that I keep coming up on articles about love and heartache. This topic is particularly complex for me because love is a topic that – in my opinion, many have different views on. I live with Chiari + Syringomyelia which like any condition can be lonely. This is why many may experience a bit of depression and anxiety. This all can get in the way of maybe allowing others into your personal space and by this, I mean everyone, children, spouse, you name it, preventing you from loving. So, how do you love, when you are trying to love yourself and accepting the new you? I don’t know your answer to that. It’s no secret that I’m still trying to accept my own personal struggles with the 2013 diagnosis, so much so that I decided to seek help. If you’ve read my Chiari + Mental Illness you’ll know that the help came in form of my therapist.

Since my diagnosis I’ve felt that I’ve wanted to go back in time, thinking that maybe things would be different. That’s such a lie, isn’t it? Because the Chiari diagnosis would have come regardless of where my life would have gone, if not where I am now, it would have still been the same. I have my highs and lows, I suppose like anyone living with a health condition and chronic pain, and trying to come to terms with it. I say that while wanting to believe I’ve accepted the diagnosis. Like it’s OK! Or is it?! But, why do I want to go back in time? Maybe because I haven’t fully accepted my condition, to really say, I have Chiari?! Ugh. Those dreaded words. It’s at times overwhelming – exhausting!

And just like the feeling you get from the loss of a love due to a break up and heartbreak, I’ve felt that feeling of wanting to come up for air. I’m gasping for air and I’m trying so hard to stay above waters. I’m definitely treating Chiari like a long lost love, the only difference is that, I’d rather live without it. All this reading on love and heartache has brought back some memories of when I was younger and in love, carefree, in love with life, in love with my plans for the future – Chiari wasn’t there. I went through such a bad heartbreak at a young age and feel it’s all molded me in who I am today – maybe not a person I’d want to be, but it did change me. I was and continue to be a work in progress because of the emotional damage. My husband has had to help me unpack all this baggage that I’ve carried with me – willing to or not, he’s had to deal with it. A love, past or present has a way of marking your life, to touch it, to influence it. I read somewhere, “Love is Pain.” It is, so if you’re willing to love, you’re also willing to go through the pain it can possibly cause. And if there’s a breakup – and you loved them, you continue to love that person because of whom they were with you. However, as time goes by that person is no longer the same, because time has gone by and they’re not the same person you knew. Or are they? How do you let go? I don’t think you do, I think time heals a broken heart but I think that person will forever remain in your life, in form of a memory – in the memories you both shared. A connection you build with someone you fall in love with is incredibly strong, and you can say it isn’t so, but believe that there is someone out there that you will connect with in such a deeper level that they will change the course of your life. Love – true love, is something that not many experience in their lifetime. If you lose it or still have it, it’s something that not many get to experience in their lives. And if you haven’t, have hope that one day you will.

And when you do, when you find true love, you will experience one of the greatest joys life has to offer. And that is what life’s all about!

A-

Photo: John Jennings