You Have More Than You Know

You Have More Than You Know

Often times it’s easier to dwell and think of all the negatives that are in our lives. I think of my health, of the downward spiral it’s on and it’s so easy to get down, get sad and be a pessimist. The positives isn’t near in sight. But there are positives, to everything, to it all. I’ve often times think of the positives that Chiari and Syringomyelia has brought to my life. It’s allowed me to stay grounded and to live in the moment. I always thought of hospital stays as something foreign. However, having been in the hospital for weeks on end recovering from surgeries brought on by Chiari, it’s given me a whole new outlook on hospitals. There are so many people there, recovering, learning to walk, learning to dress – I was in that position at one point in my life, learning it all – all over again, from learning to walk, to going up and down stairs to learning to move my head from side to side to learning how to dress myself – I was about 28 years old at that time with three littles at home. So many people there feeling lonely, scared, hopeless, frustrated and sad. I’m so thankful to have seen that. It allowed me to see that even though I’m going through something very much valid, there’s also always someone else going through it worse than I am. There are people needing so much more than I do, having a grateful heart for what I have and changing perspective allows me to see what’s right in front of me. Only then is when I realize that I have so much more than I know.

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While doing a summer assignment with my oldest son, something stayed with me, it’s from a Swedish folktale titled, “The Laughing Magpie.” The two lines are …

“I laugh because you would rather be sad than fix your own problem.”

Know that you are bigger than any obstacle and any struggle you may be facing today.

“Silly boy, don’t you see that everything you need is right before your eyes?”

If we stop and open our eyes, we can gather the resilience and the inner strength that lies within.

A-

Photo: Joseph Barrientos

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Mystery Blogger Award – 2

Mystery Blogger Award

I want to thank my fellow Chiarian blogger over at Simply Chronically Ill for this amazing nomination! There is nothing like getting recognized by fellow bloggers and this amazing soul is phenomenal and her blog is filled with amazing content, her poetry is both thought provoking and intriguing. She also gives tips on how to save and links to great deals! What’s better than saving?! Thank you again and if you haven’t gone to her blog, pay her a visit! I appreciate how these awards allow you to get to know me, they’re fantastic!

Here are my questions for my nominees:

1. If you could cure one disease, what would it be and why?

This here, this here, is a great one! I would find a cure for Chiari Malformation + Syringomyelia – that’s two not one, it’s OK! This thing is both painful and exhausting – find a cure already! I have six babies, SIX, find it now! 😉

2. If you could speak any other language what would it be and why?

Let’s see, my little ones and I speak both English and Spanish and at times I feel it just isn’t enough, so we should definitely try a third! I would speak – and I must thank Google for this, the South Korean dialect of Hanguk. I have Korean descent and would love to dive into something from the culture.

3. If you could do your life over, what is one thing you would change?

Oh wow, this is a bit deep! Although there are times – many, many, many times, where I think my life made a wide turn – or wrong turn, into what I thought wasn’t in my ‘plans’ I am a firm believer of how things change, people change and my life changed for a reason. I have chronic pain and an illness that in 2018 – today, has no cure, and although at times it may seem unfair, unbearable or frustrating, there is nothing God would allow in my life that I wouldn’t be strong enough to bear. 🙏🏽

4. What is one word you wished you heard more often?

Hello. Can we get a simple ‘hello?!’ How hard is that?! It’s often forgotten and dismissed as something that’s not important. I think a simple hello has the power to change someones day, to brighten someones day, to transform an inner most feeling someone may be having on that particular day. Maybe you’ve gone somewhere, entered a room or simply thought of someone but didn’t have the thought or courage of following through – because your excuse is always not having the time, say hello, send a hello to someone, to a friend, to a family member, hell to your spouse that woke up before you saw him/her leave the house! Send them a message and say, hello! So simple, yet so thoughtful and TRUST they’ll appreciate it! Amazing.

My nominees are:

My Li’l Place

Searching For My Inner Zen

Magic In The Everyday

Dorky Mom Doodles

The Godly Chic Diaries

Pink Herald

Mrs. Mother Dirt

Ramblings Of A Wonky Girl

Thank you and you’re welcome, to my nominees for participating. You and your blog are fantastic and deserving of this award – I can’t wait to read your answers!

Here are my questions for my nominees: 

1. If you could cure one disease, what would it be and why?

2. If you could speak any other language what would it be and why?

3. If you could do your life over, what is the one thing you would change?

4. What is one word you wished you heard more often and why?

Thank you Simply Chronically Ill for these questions, they’re great!

A-

Release The Pressure

Release The Pressure

I don’t often watch television, but do have some programs set on the DVR. On some days when the time is just right, I’ll watch something live – today was one of those days. I’ve not only been a little on edge because of last weeks visit to the ENT  but also feel at times overwhelmed, I’m the one people come to for comfort or to be heard – not that it’s a bad thing. My therapist once told me, it’s a good thing to listen to someone speak about their own struggles because at times it can give you a sense of comfort knowing that you are not alone. Can I remind you of the quote, ‘misery loves company’? Yes, sometimes within my own ‘misery,’ I like to find someone else who’s living within the same miserable state. It makes me feel less alone, ultimately, less miserable. It’s helpful! But it can be hard to be present in someones else’s life when I have ongoing health issues – not to mention the biggest one of them all, Chiari. I do it of course! However, I lend an ear out of respect because I’ve been sought after, but would I rather be doing something else, absolutely!

“Do not become the 911 in everybody’s life, just stop and release yourself of the pressure.”

– Steve Harvey

As the little ones took their afternoon nap, today I was able to watch the Steve Harvey Show. He’s funny, he’s witty and one of the few adults with wisdom. Yes, I’m that person that believes age doesn’t always equal wisdom. So, today the topic of ‘releasing the pressure from yourself’ came up. That was music to my ears folks! Yes, yes! Do you have that friend or family member that only calls when they need you, when they need something from you, when they need you to do something for them? Do you feel responsible to help them, to be there for them, to do what they’ve just asked you to do? Yes, I’m there, I have those! So, he was saying to take the pressure off from the need to be there for them. It’s not in a condescending way – no! It’s for yourself, do this for you! ‘You are only responsible for your children. If the person is not your child, then you are not responsible for them and you are welcome to take the pressure off yourself!’ He brought a point we too often forget and a good point at that, ‘if they didn’t have you, what would they do?’ So, he also recommended you stop receiving their calls, because all their calls tend to be for ‘requests’ and if you can, to stop listening to your voicemails, because 95% of the time voicemails are ‘requests’. They will leave that voicemail saying, ‘call me, it’s important.’ I couldn’t help but laugh, because it true! It’s so true! If you’re not laughing, maybe it’s because you’re the other person. Eek! I often think, wait, I need to answer or I need to listen to the voicemail because, what if it’s an emergency?! Here’s what Mr. Harvey said, ‘all emergencies or problems pass within 24 hours’ and encourages that you ‘don’t become the 911 in everybody’s life, just stop and release yourself of the pressure.’ And I think, if it were an actual emergency, they’d be calling 911 – not you.

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One of my children’s movies comes to mind and it says it best, ‘sit down before you hurt yourself!’ We put so much pressure on ourselves to be in everyone else’s lives, we forget to be present in our own. And I am a firm believer on how stress and anxiety can may very well be the culprit of the way you feel, this pressure makes you sick – literally. I don’t know why I needed to hear that today, but I’m so glad I did, some reassurance is good and always welcomed!  It’s good to put me/you first and not feel remorseful for it.

Happy day!

A-

The Liebster Award

I can not be anymore excited about this … I was nominated for the Liebster Award by the amazing writer/blogger over at Reveuse!!!! Mahee please know I can not thank you enough for thinking about this little blog that could. I’m both humbled and thankful for this nomination. Your writing is both lovely as it is uplifting and I hope that you continue to inspire others the way you inspire me.

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About the Award

The Liebster is an award given to new and upcoming blogs, as nominated by fellow bloggers, in order to give exposure and foster a community of recognition and appreciation. The award was first implemented in 2011, and has been in place each year since.

The official rules for 2018 are as follows, and can be found in entirety on the blog The Global Aussie, at https://theglobalaussie.com/liebster-award-2018/

Rules — Overviews

⇒ Link to official rules blog post in your Liebster Award blog post
⇒ Answer the questions given to you (11)
⇒ Create more questions for your nominees to answer (11)
⇒ Comment on the official rules blog post with a link DIRECTLY to your Liebster Award nomination post.
⇒ Entries start 1st of Jan 2018 and ends on the 25th Dec 2018. The winner will be picked on the 31st of December.

Rules 

• Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.

• Answer the questions you were asked.

• Share 10 random facts about yourself.

• Nominate at least 3 blogs for the award.

• Ask your nominees 10 questions and inform them of the nomination.


Facts About Me

1. I love to bake – anything from birthday cakes to cupcakes to brownies to chocolate chip / sugar cookies to flan and I also love to try new recipes – however, I will not eat my own baking creations

2. I need like to be in control 

3. I’m impatient with people that talk in circles ultimately wanting to feed me BS – honesty is key

4. I’m a stickler with time and appreciate people that arrive on time

5. I love to laugh! And appreciate good mom jokes 🙂

6. Would choose white chocolate over any other candy – is chocolate considered candy?!

7. I love a good sale!

8. My favorite color is money green … just kidding no I’m not just green!

9. Obsessed with Disney movies and can watch them on repeat without a problem … did I mention I have little ones 🙂

10. I DO NOT, I mean DO NOT like scary movies such as the Shining or movies with underwater scenes such as Jaws. I love a good funny movie such as The Hangover

Questions and My Answers 

1. Why did you start writing your blog? After going back and forth for a few years out of fear of the unknown but passionate about my own journey with Chiari 1 Malformation + Syringomyelia, I finally did it! I want to raise awareness on Chiari and only hope to connect with others living with the same illness.  

2. Do you believe in God? Yes – He’s the reason I’m here today! Yes I am weak, I have my moments where I doubt His presence in my life because of what I live with, however as today’s gospel from Matthew 28:16-20 said, ‘I am with you always, to the very end of age.’ No, I didn’t know that by heart, I had to go back and get that for you!  🙂   I underwent very risky and life changing surgeries that could have put me six feet under. I am positive I am here for a reason(s), why, I can’t quite put my finger on that but I can only hope to be humble enough to understand why one day. 

3. What’s your favorite cuisine? Thai

4. Sunrise or Sunset? Sunset 

5. Which was the happiest moment in your life? I’ll choose moments – my little one’s births. No book, no movie, not listening to others experiences, absolutely nothing can prepare you for the birth of your child. I’ve had them via cesarean  and that first cry, that first meeting between baby and mother is breath taking. I have no words and can only pray you experience it for yourself. 

6. Define yourself in one word. Dreamer 

7. What’s your favorite book? The one book that I can remember that had me wanting to read it again, is The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. I read it when I was young and I was immediately drawn to it. 

8. What’s your favorite quote? ‘You’ve got to put your past behind you’ – Timon, The Lion King. So simple, yet it’s better said than done. If achieved though, I believe it can really be the only freeing thing you can do for yourself. 

9. If you are given 10000000 cash what would you do? Cash, wow, not even a check?! Nice! Ha! OK, I’d buy that purse I’ve been eyeing, travel and eat yummy food

10. What’s the thing that you hate the most? People that complain! And whine!

11. What’s the best quality that you see in your best friend? Please don’t feel bad or sorry or anything remotely close to that, but I do not have a ‘best friend.’ Maybe I used to, say in high school, not sure. But I believe people come and go from your life for many different reasons, so to give someone a title like ‘best friend,’ personally is setting too high of expectations on one being and ultimately resulting in me being disappointed. However, a quality(s) I best admire in friends are honesty, faithful/trusting and dependability.  

Questions 

 1. Why did you start writing your blog?

2. Do you believe in God?

3. What’s your favorite cusine?

4. Sunrise or Sunset?

5. Which was the happiest moment in your life?

6. Define yourself in one word.

7. What’s your favorite book?

8. What’s your favorite quote?

9. If you are given 10000000 cash what would you do?

10. What’s the thing that you hate the most?

11. What’s the best quality that you see in your best friend?

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My Nominees 

1. Magic In The Everyday

2.Simply Chronically Ill

3. My Li’l Place

Nominees, I appreciate your love for writing and continue to admire it in every one of your posts. Enjoy!

A-

Patience – ‘Three Days Three Quotes’ Nomination Day 3

The last day for ‘Three Days Three Quotes,’ thanks again to the wonderful blogger over at Reveuse.

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AND don’t forget to visit my nominees ….

To you three ladies, I’ve followed you three amazing women since day one of my blogging journey and have – and continue, to learn so much from you! I see your strength and vulnerability shine through in each one of your writings! Please know that you are loved, appreciated, that I admire you and continue to enjoy following your journeys!

HERE ARE THE RULES:

Thank the person who nominated you.

Post a quote for 3 days andexplain why it appeals to you.

Nominate bloggers each day!

MY THIRD QUOTE:

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet” Aristotle

I was so intrigued to find the proper definition for patience, that I Googled it. Patience is ‘the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.’

If you’ve followed my journey you know that I have chronic pain, not from time to time, not every other day, but daily. D-a-i-l-y. I like to say, I don’t have ‘good’ days,’ I have bad days and I have even worse days. And I’ll be transparent and allow my feelings to be shown through your screen. It’s my reality, anyone living with a chronic illness knows that we have to practice patience every single day. And I’m not talking about having patience for your spouse, children, co-workers, family, etc. no! You see, we have to be patient with ourselves, be loving to myself, my body and mind, not to get upset or angry as that can trigger other symptoms like the infamous frustration, that can ultimately make things much worse.

I am my worst enemy. I beat myself up for not being a ‘normal’ woman – because who wakes up daily with pain?! I beat myself up for not being able to stand for long periods of time – because my legs get so weak I’m a risk of falling. I beat myself up for allowing the everyday things ‘bother’ me – you see I am sensitive to noise, light, you know the sun is the worst for me, yes, how do shut off the world in order for me to feel ‘good.’ I beat myself up for not being able to meet others expectations – they’re just too high for me to meet. I beat myself up for not being able to get in the car for long periods of time – you see with Chiari Malformation + Syringomyelia I get nauseated in the car when riding for too long and require I keep medication on hand and bags in the car in case the need arises to regurgitate, Disney trips are as daunting as they are lovely for the children. I beat myself up for having anxiety – you see I can’t have last minute invites, last minute guests in my home, etc. my anxiety will go through the roof, I can’t do things on a ‘whim,’ I can’t do things like the ‘average’ woman can, like go to the grocery store without feeling pain run through my body, I can’t get last minute notices from my children’s teachers for a school event, my agoraphobia will prevent me from being present.

I need to have patience with myself, patience to love myself as I am and not want to change a thing about me, pain and all. I remind myself that I am me and there’s no one quite like me. I am beautifully made by the most high that has made me in His image. I am here to live with Chiari for reasons I am too stubborn to understand. I am doing the best that I can and I am as best of a mother as I can be. As this wonderful quote says, ‘patience is bitter, but it’s fruit is sweet.’ Yes! It’s so bitter, it’s harsh, it’s a pill too hard to swallow at times, it’s a tough reality too many times hard to accept, to face, to know! To know it’s there staring back at me …

Yet, yet! It’s fruit, it’s a message, it’s an everyday motivation to keep going, to keep walking, to stand on my weakest days, this makes patience so sweet! It’s as sweet as they come, to be taught to have patience from such a horrible illness is the sweet reminder of the strength that lies within me.

NOMINATIONS:

1. Magic In The Everyday

2. Simply Chronically Ill

3. Discovering Your Happiness

If you’ve missed any of the other two days of the quote challenge, you can read Appreciate Life Day 1 and Forgiveness + Hope Day 2.

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Hope you all enjoy doing this unique challenge and I look forward to reading the quotes you’ve chosen!

A-

Forgiveness + Hope – ‘Three Days Three Quotes’ Nomination Day 2

In continuation with the ‘Three Days Three Quotes’ I will not do ‘Nail File Fridays.’ I was nominated by the wonderful blogger over at Reveuse.

AND don’t forget to visit my nominees! They are such amazing women. I absolutely love following their blogs, they’re so interesting and inspirational!

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HERE ARE THE RULES:

Thank the person who nominated you.

Post a quote for 3 days and explain why it appeals to you.

Nominate bloggers each day!

MY SECOND QUOTE:

“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different” Oprah Winfrey

I have kept this quote so dear and near to my heart – I mean how can I not?! I grew up in a single-parent home, my mother raising three kids on her own, working two to three jobs at a time, trying to make ends meet. I was the youngest of three. I was about 5 years old when I quickly realized I hated did not like the weekends with my father. I also disliked anything related to Father’s Day because at school I would be obligated to participate in making Father’s Day cards and such things. It wasn’t for any particular reason other than this meant being away from my mother – they were divorced for about 11 years, reconciled and have now been married for about 15 years. All thanks to Him. So, this quote among other things have helped me see that my father was not one, in any way a monster two, a cruel man or three, the enemy – he made mistakes because of the weakness that lies in man. We have recovered our father-daughter relationship that was once non-existent and have healed what was once broken.

Also, my Chiari Malformation + Syringomyelia Diagnosis – it’s incredibly exhausting just thinking about it! I have begun therapy which has been a great source in my journey to healing. I go back and forth thinking of the what-if’s, what if I was born different and not with Chiari – there is no such thing as having been born ‘normal,’ what if I hadn’t gotten married and maybe this wouldn’t have happened – Chiari was inevitable because I was born with it, what if I was stronger – I am as strong as I need to be, what if I could be like these other school moms without a care in the world and living pain free – looks are deceiving and I may have physical chronic pain however these other school moms I so ‘admire’ are battling other life pains.

This quote reminds me that giving up the hope that Chiari if not present in my life today things could have been different, is a lie! I am not Chiari rather I am living with Chiari. It’s given me the strength I never knew I had and that is worth not hoping my life could have been any different than what it is today.

NOMINATIONS:

1. Four Jordans

2.

3. A Disney World Adventurer

NORDSTROM Half-Yearly Sale! SAVE up to 40% on selected styles now through June 3.

Hope you all enjoy doing this unique challenge and I look forward to reading the quotes you’ve chosen!

A-

Appreciate Life – ‘Three Days Three Quotes’ Nomination – Day 1

I’m so excited for this nomination by the wonderful blogger over at Reveuse for the ‘Three Days Three Quotes.’ I find her blog so encouraging, she speaks on all things life, love and positive thinking – love her posts! She has a way of lifting you with her words, if you haven’t gone to visit her page – you must. Thanks again Reveuse!

NORDSTROM Half-Yearly Sale! SAVE up to 40% on selected styles now through June 3.

AND don’t forget to visit my nominees! They are such great women with even greater blogs. I love when they post, always so inspiring and interesting each in their own right!

HERE ARE THE RULES:

Thank the person who nominated you.

Post a quote for 3 days and explain why it appeals to you.

Nominate bloggers each day!

MY FIRST QUOTE:

“I think you need to go through some stuff to really appreciate life and understand what it means to persevere, overcome and have faith. I think those tough times make you a stronger person.” Judith Hill 

I had my life significantly altered due to a few surgeries and because of this, I now live with daily chronic pain. However, I have also seen a different perspective of it all, they’ve happened to me for a reason. They’ve helped me become a stronger woman, a loving no BS kind of woman because life is too short to live for others.

NOMINATIONS:

1.Middle Me

2. My Li’l Place

3. Magic In The Everyday

Hope you all enjoy and I look forward to reading the quotes you’ve chosen!

A-