If there’s one thing I enjoy doing, is watching early morning TV while sipping on coffee. The older children have gone off to school and my littlest babies are still in bed asleep. This morning was the same, only today, an interview with actress Selma Blair with host Robin Roberts resonated with me.
In this interview actress Selma Blair shares her journey of living with MS – Multiple Scoliosis, a disease in which the immune system eats away the protective covering of the nerves. It can affect the brain, spinal cord and the optic nerves in your eyes. Aside from causing problems with vision, it affects your balance and muscle control, just to name a few. She has the most aggressive form of MS, and it has now affected her speech, as you’ll notice in her interview – spasmodic dysphonia, as well has her walking, which she now relies on a cane for assistance.
Once again I saw yet another disease trying to strip away the life of a woman and first and foremost a mother. I can relate to her, as I myself am living with Chiari Malformation. It makes you forget all that you knew, the life you knew and emerges you in a new life that is so foreign it may as well bring you to your knees. At times not even knowing what hurts more, as it becomes nearly impossible to vocalize what is wrong and what one is psychically feeling.
In this interview actress Selma Blair mentions …
an experience while having to take her son to school about a mile away, when returning home, having to pull over mid way to take a nap. I can’t take my kids to school, physically my driving is limited, and when I do, it must be close to home. And I understand the need, that dire need to nap. It’s an overwhelming feeling, it takes over your body and mind, and you absolutely have to lie down – ASAP, and sleep.
shame, shame that comes with having chronic pain and a disease that inevitably prevents you from being the mother you desire to be. And all you can do is what you can, to the best of your ability.
telling her son. She mentions that it wasn’t at all difficult sharing her diagnosis with her son. And I agree! Telling the children is so important. In my case, we’ve been open with the children, from why mommy needs quiet, why mommy needs to sleep, to why mommy needs to visit the doctor and why mommy needs to do an MRI. It is paramount to keep the children in the loop!
‘what gets you through those difficult days?’ … she gets in bed and doesn’t move. You just can’t do it all and it’s fine to feel crappy. Her son gets it and she has learned not to feel guilty. This is such an important message. A message to all those parents, that feel the need to play a role they can no longer play, the one where they can do it all, without the need of a break. When you’ve been diagnosed with something like MS or Chiari Malformation, you will have those days where you can’t move, where you get stopped in your tracks and can no longer move. Don’t do more than what your body can handle, put the guilt aside and live your truth. As she said, ‘it’s fine to feel crappy.’
If you haven’t seen the interview, I encourage you to do so, spreading awareness is essential as it motivates others to come out of the shadows and not feel ashamed or alone. When you voice your experience, you not only give a face to the illness, but you help others that are going through the same.
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